It is going on 72 hours since I last slept. I am freaking tired, my head is pound, and my body is screaming. All I want to do is lay down and sleep. Yet some how the more I lay there and try to sleep the more challenging I find it to find any rest. But who needs those few moments of sleep between the day to break up our daily lives.

But Heck I am in so much pain that I do not think that there could be any meaningful sleep even if I were able to find a few moment of shut eye. Hell the sun comes up and the sun goes down, and with out sleep it just feels like the same day to me. I don't have a way to break them up. What the hell is wrong with this, what I would do for a good nights sleep again.

What's the problem why can I not sleep for a night. I mean nothing so horrible is going to happen. Though I guess I have been to some degree programmed not to sleep anymore. It sure seemed like bad things always happened when you were sleeping in the Army. I guess it is because you are most vulnerable when you are sleep. Plus you were always expected at moments notice to just go, without a break from the sleep to wake cycle. Sleep deprivation was a normal part of life, it was trained, it was learned how to function, add to that stress, and pressure and you have a cocktail to keep you from sleeping. Anger keeps you motivated, and it seems that the anger only keeps me awake and further moves me away.

Honestly how many more days can I expect to go before I just crash or loose it. I know sleep is a pretty important part of life. I do enjoy getting a good few hours here and there. It just seems they are coming further and further apart. I guess I will at some point get so tired that I will have no choice and sleep will come naturally. Once the sleep comes I only hope that it will be long and relaxing. But who am I kidding I don't even know when I can realistically expect to sleep. Heck it could be an other week or with any luck it might be sometime tonight.

Sleep I love you.... Please do not leave me. I truly look forward to all the good thing you do for me. I could really use some good sleep not just laying there again or sitting up reading tonight passing the hours for the sun to rise.