crashing

I feel like I am slowly being choked out today. It seems like each hour is days and time will never pass. But what I have to wait till atleast tomorrow to call anyone for help. Damn I need to get a life. Or at least make some new friends who answer their phones and live NOVA. They should be half way intelligent and able to hold conversation. There is just something wrong when your bff is a provider at the VA hospitle. Leaves little room for future growth of the relationship. But I don't even know what 28 year olds do these days. I mean if was back at fort Bragg I guess I would go down to bragg blvd or downtown or do something stupid. Or there was what I was good at being anti social and playing games. All that is gone and never going to be coming back. Not that I have a choice in that with the brain injury, and other problems I deal with ever day. I might as well be about 60 with what my bodies been through and feels. I supposed I fit right in at an assisted living home playing Wii all day for physical therapy, and being feed, and craft hour, bingo, yes what a life. Not for me though for the 45 plus years I think I would go bat crazy, maybe knock off a few people before I went from fits of rage. WTF this is what I signed up for, oh well at least I am not 6 feet under yet. Though sometimes I thin that might be better. Damn and I am only 28, and got a 4 year old that needs his dad. I am so board with pretty much everything, excepted when I get to see my disfunctional bff. I could sit there and say nothing and feel connected and like I had a great conversation. It is like she is the female version of me.